In the Captain Obvious moment of the day, when the next chemotherapy session is up, spirits go down. It is becoming more of a grind. And the thought of dragging myself to MSK to get hooked up, and knowing how it feels, is kind of crazy.
Even more so because I am in pretty good shape. My basic problems with cancer (though I know it is more going on inside) is feeling like s--t for about a week from the chemotherapy and now the increasing levels of being tired from the chemotherapy. Obviously I got to ride the the current chemotherapy cocktail for as long as it goes because the next cocktail will be worse and I am not even close to considering stopping treatment, but it is really tough to drag my rear end into infusion.
Even more so because I am in pretty good shape. My basic problems with cancer (though I know it is more going on inside) is feeling like s--t for about a week from the chemotherapy and now the increasing levels of being tired from the chemotherapy. Obviously I got to ride the the current chemotherapy cocktail for as long as it goes because the next cocktail will be worse and I am not even close to considering stopping treatment, but it is really tough to drag my rear end into infusion.
And it beats me up a bit more. I had an off day scheduled for Friday, after four days of training, and looked forward to a long bike ride Saturday followed by a short run. But I had what I call a chemo blowback day. Nausea, indigestion. But not standard. There is the distinct taste/feeling. So never made it off the couch. I tried. Just could not do it.
Sunday I still felt bad. But not quite as bad. And by late afternoon I felt good enough to do a long run. So I turned off the Giants-Cowboys game (it was early in the 1st quarter, good timing on my part since I am a Giants fan) and headed out. I used the technique of walking for one minute every mile (towards the end after mile 7 had a couple of more), but wound up with my third fastest 5 Miles and fastest 10K ever. Granted on the 10K I have only gone that distance 9 times in my life. And the second fastest 10K was one I did last year. It was only 5 seconds slower. After riding a bike for 2;45. But my pace yesterday was starting to show a tad of hope, though I could not make it to the pool.
Today I was going to try to do an FTP test on my bike trainer. I could not get the skewer loose on my tire. My fingers have occasional neuropathy from the FOLFOX, though I am not sure it was that. All I know was that it was upsetting. I know tomorrow is chemo day. I know tomorrow starts couch t-rd portion of the cancer program. I want to get as much training in as I can, but without overdoing it. So missing a workout really bums me out. I feel like I am slacking. I hate the feeling of frustration and playing beat the clock for #triathlontraining So when people ask me how I do this all, it is because I am stupid, stubborn and slow. And every time I can train, it is an awesome feeling, even if it hurts, is boring now and again or even when I am running.
Still aiming for an 8:29:59, or perhaps better, for the Ironman 70.3 in North Carolina in about 6 weeks.
