A variation of Folsom Prison Blues keeps on echoing:
I hear the train a comin', it's rolling 'round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when
I'm stuck in chemo prison, and time keeps draggin' on
Since I started on this all, I have completed 3 5ks, 3 Sprint Triathlons, 1/2 Marathon and an Ironman 70.3 race. Recently I thought I was getting more cramps in my legs and back pain. I thought perhaps I was pushing too hard. Or not hydrating enough. Or not having enough electrolytes.
The cancer has spread and grown rather quickly since August- including a brand new tumor in my back that went into my spine. But I still finished the 1/2 Marathon and Ironman 70.3 Fortunately I started radiation last week. It is crazy to think of radiation treatments that way, but it has helped ease the back pain by a good amount.
No matter what, however, within the next 10-14 days I will be back on chemotherapy. I had 6 months of chemotherapy after my first surgery. It was "mop-up" chemotherapy. I had all the bi-weekly sessions marked on my calendar. I could mark off each treatment as it occurred and knew I was inching closer to the finish line. A goal. A clear end to the chemo treatments, the effects it had on me and thinking I was going to be done with it all and moving on with my life.
The current situation is totally different. There is no end time. No end session. Just knowing that every other week will be a down week. I know there may be some times where I can extend time between sessions by a few days if I want to travel, family events, whatever.
I already, however, have the first two treatments causing issues with some things I had planned. I can try to adjust things, or extend the date of the third treatment to 3 weeks from the previous one, but it is too early in all likelihood. The cancer needs to start being knocked out pretty quickly.
There are many more worse things in the world. I am going to be treated. I am in good health and should be able to deal with treatments. I am pretty sure I will be able to adjust my training to be able to train every other week and keep on doing shorter races.
Despite that knowledge, just been a couple more times recently that I realize it really kind of stinks going back on chemo with the distinct possibility I am not coming off it for a long time, if ever.
"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in..."
Instagram & Twitter: @iTri4aCure
