It has been a few week since I finished the Las Olas triathlon. There was a brief break in training and I am starting to get back into it, though has been derailed slightly by a head cold and starting to do some checking off of items on the bucket list. I had a scan right after my return from Florida. But being optimistic, I signed up for the Las Olas triathlon in March 2019, only this time increasing the distance to Olympic distance. The next day I saw the report. I was not meeting with the oncologist until a few days later, but I could see the news was not good. There were more lymph nodes that were cancerous, though the older ones seemed to be progressing slowly. But a couple of spots had doubled in size in the three months since my last scan. Granted they were still small, under 1 cM, though one was pushing 1 cM, but it was still concerning. It seemed my efforts were not working out. Though I knew the odds were against me, I still had hope that there would be no spread.
When I met with the oncologist the report was worse than I thought. The lymph nodes were problematic of course, but the slow rate of growth was a good thing. The lungs were a problem. The report indicated “bilateral spread” but I did not realize the extent until my oncologist started pointing them out. I gave up counting at around a dozen. It was not good.
She asked me how I was feeling, and I said “I just swam 500 meters, biked 11 miles and did a 5k in a triathlon, feeling pretty good.” It was then she said the words I did not want to hear - “one of the hardest things to do is to discuss with an asymptomatic patient that it is time to start chemo.” No. I did not want that. Not now. I then threw out my training, a brick of a 20 mile bike ride, followed by a 30 minute run. And more, including that I had three more sprint triathlons scheduled in the next 3 months.
We went through the pros and cons of what was happening. I am in good health, other than the cancer 😕, and relatively young. If I had health issues or was older, I probably would be back on chemo as I type this. There is a point where the symptoms progress to the point that the physical toll of the chemo will be too much. A balancing of how long the cancer can spread and affect the body before the body is too weak. Sometimes the cancer may plateau for awhile, but at the current rate I am looking at maybe 6 months time before I am back on chemo. No doubt before the end of this year. And it is not a pretty chemo. They inject you with atropine to counteract the side affects of the chemo. The same atropine that is carried in kits that soldiers and EMS personnel have in case of a chemical attack. Awesome. I knew it would not be fun, having gone through it before with different drugs, but the side effects this time really stink.
My oconlogist is wonderful. As long as I promised to let her know immediately if anything changes, she will continue to monitor me. My next scan is after my sprint triathlon in June. As much as I am not a fan of the running portion of the triathlon, I am looking at throwing in a 5K race in the mix. It is about a week before my next triathlon, but I am sure my coach can make that part of my schedule.
I figure the stronger I can keep my body, including my lungs, at this point I can buy myself more time. And as much of a non-fan of running that I am, being able to run a 5K whenever I can now sounds awesome. Incredibly, wonderfully awesome. All the training that I can do, even on the days I am not having a good workout, also awesome. There is going to be a time where I may lose the chance to run, bike, swim. Or participate in a 5k. The thought of turning into a lump on the couch, sleeping or running to the bathroom, every other week really makes you appreciate other things a lot more.
It is coupled with a certain sadness as you see the headlights of the tractor trailer coming straight out you. The key is to ignore the damn truck. Ain’t nothing you can do about that part. You, however, can say screw it and go on. Hey, I am still processing the recent news and know what it means. There is a certain positive about having a bit of a break off with reality when dealing with this.
All I know I will keep on enjoying running as long as I can.
@iTri4aCure
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