Feb 21 is a bad date from now on...

I am trying to get some things printed for the Triathlon.  What an incredible pain it is.

Tri suit - laid it out.  Feb 9, was told they were pretty sure there are XXL shirts in stock and I was to confirm if I wanted sized like that.  I said yes, need XXL on Feb 12.  Sent artwork.  Asked next steps, need to finalize order.  Told everything looks good.  Feb 21, whoops we do not have XXL

One set of shirts and caps - paid for rush order after sending in artwork to make sure it can be done.  Paid Feb 15.  Proofs of artwork look good.  Feb 21 told that most of the shirts are in stock, but not really in stock.  In warehouse, but not at place where printing is done.  So cannot get them, need to choose something else in order to meet deadline.

Other set of shirts, called Feb 14.  I was told it would take a week.  Told them I was emailing artwork right then.  Which I did.  Confirmed Pantone colors the next day.  Called Feb 16, was told to email someone else.  All weekend long got emails that my email to the second person could not be delivered.  Called Monday and spoke to the first person. Was told they never opened my email from the week before.  Worked out pricing and selection.  Then got email, Feb 21, that person was leaving town and should be able to print late next week.

ARRGHHHHH!!!!!

Printing is tough.

Triathlon training and cancer is easy.  😄

#iTRI4aCure

Sorry I Splashed In The Pool (Cancer Makes You Cranky)

I know it probably does not come as a big revelation, but sometimes cancer can make you cranky.

Yesterday I was having a good swim workout.  Each week I am improving bit-by-bit.  Not going to be landing on the podium, but I can now swim further than I could a couple of months ago.  Was doing some ladder drills, with the long segment being 300 yards, for a total of about 80 laps.

The pool, three lanes, had one person in each.  People do not swim circles at the place.  Just split lanes.  The person to my right was going up and down with a noodle under their chest.  The person to my left was doing something similar.  I was the only one doing something passing as "swimming."  😀

And I was in one of those good moods feeling like I was accomplishing something.  Of course I was questioning myself and thinking "what the hell am I doing?" as I counted off the laps for the longer distances, but I was doing them.

A new swimmer appeared, picked my lane and I moved to one side off the lane line when I saw her there when I came in for a turn .  She then proceeded to breast stroke, head above water, up and down the lane.  Which is fine.  The way I swim, it is not like I am that much better.

I hit the wall and stood up after finishing off a 300 and feeling pretty happy.   Did two 300s  and held (for me) a good pace.

Was having some water, and she calls out to me when she was about 20 yards out.  I thought I heard what she said, but was not sure.  I said. "Sorry, I missed what you said."

"You splash too much."  I was a bit taken aback.  I have spoken to many people when I get to the end of the pool who have offered tips as I get back into swimming shape.  This was not offering help.  It was a complaint.  I know I make some splash coming off the wall and she was often hanging out at the ends of the pool.  Overall it was a bit of a bummer.  My coaches have been working with me on technique and cutting splashing down/cleaning things up.  All that work down the drain.

I got kind of ticked and instantly made sure to bite my lip - a sarcastic reply coupled with less than polite words were the top 10 responses I had.

She then followed up with "Well how much longer are you going to be swimming?"

 Seriously?

 "12 Laps, will be done pretty quickly." For some reason I felt guilty of being in the pool at that point.

"Well that sounds like a lot and you are going to be here a long time, I should have picked another lane."   Good idea, especially since the other people were just going up and down more like a water aerobics class, just like she was with her breast stroke, face never touching the water.  She moved over to the other lane, and she started splashing me as I passed.  Pushing outwards to splash me - really childlike.   Not sure if she did it each time, but a few times when I was facing her.  It was kind of amusing.

It took a lot of effort to me not to really get into it with her.  Tell her I have had cancer 2 times before and now it is back for the 3rd time and inoperable.  That I am trying to stay alive and avoid chemo as long as possible.  That I am missing substantial pieces of my abdomen and lung.  That it is a #$%^& swimming pool and it was not like I was rough housing around.  That a couple of months before I was barely able to make a lap.  That my splashing is a lot less now.  And that she totally harshed my buzz (or p--sed on my Cheerios actually.)  I was feeling good.  A screw cancer workout falling into place.  When going through this all, each lap done a bit faster or longer rep distance achieved, helps me remain positive - that my next scan will show no further growth, or perhaps even reduction.  I ran after the pool.  I did 4 miles.

In my mind, I am sure I am winning.  Someone who can swim over a mile then run 4 miles (slowly) can't be dying of cancer.  Nope. And those feelings get me through the workouts, with just the occasional nagging thought.

But for some reason the timing of the splash comment, and the follow up comments, ticked me off, probably more so because it hurt a bit.  My swimming is bad.   I am interfering with other people.  I am taking up space and someone's time.  Just when I was feeling good during the workout.

I knew the cranky part of cancer would cause me to respond in a manner I did not want to, so I said nothing.  And that also ticks me off.

#iTri4ACure

Happy Valentine's Day

Three years ago today I was discharged from Memorial Sloan Kettering hospital after my first cancer surgery.  I am not the greatest in timing sometimes. 

Turns out we also had issues with the heating system at home.  Awesome. 

The last couple of years I have been a bit better in Valentine's Day gifts :)

There Is Always Something There To Remind Me

Was staring outside the window as I was making my oatmeal and coffee for breakfast.  Just watching some birds and the rain.

Then it hit me, "Wait how many more days will I be able to look out a window and just watch things like this?  I have a time bomb inside of me."

That happens now and again.  If I thought like that much at all,  this whole thing would be pretty rough.  But it goes quickly.  Then I realized, I had an appointment in a few hours and Memorial Sloan Kettering.  Nothing major, just a port flush that has to be done every 6-8 weeks to prevent bloods clots. Takes a minute or so.  But the taste of the flush is something that started bothering me during chemo.  Not horrible, probably more association.  And the port access stinks.  Again, an association with the chemo treatment. 

The flush is just one of the things in all of this that acts as a reminder of cancer.  Having a needle in your chest for 3 days every two weeks is not as much fun as it sounds. 😉

#iTri4ACure

A Slow Run But Not Too Bad

No one who runs or participates in a Triathlon will be intimidated by this effort in running. I never ran. Only started doing a bit before this run. About a month before this run, I did an occasional run and tried to do as many as steps as possible. A week before this run, I had a piece of my lung removed due to cancer. Now, about a year later, I train for a Tri to hold back inoperable cancer.

#iTri4ACure

Feb 4 World Cancer Day

Saw the hash tag #WorldCancerDay trend for a bit, but some other hash tags seem to be getting more traction.  Looks like there is some football game going on today 😉

Part of World Cancer Day is to educate and stop misinformation.  But many of the tweets are promoting things that are highly questionable "cures."

Do not get me wrong, I am pursuing alternative treatments at this point (will write more on this) since my cancer is inoperable.   This includes exercising heavily and starting triathlon training.  Anything to delay going back on chemo.  But to be clear on this - if the time comes to go back on chemo, I will.  Just don't want to 😀 But there is so much snake oil out there that preys on fears of cancer patients.

Even though I know some of these things are not cures, or even worse, dangerous, sometimes I wonder that the cures in fact being hidden by the illuminati or other conspiracy theories that permeate the internet.  But if anyone thinks that these alternative types are not into this for the money, think again.  Many are no different than the big pharma or the medical institutions they decry.  I found this out as I started figuring out what to do when my current recurrence occurred.  

Anyway, when you have had cancer, or have cancer,  every day is cancer day.  It never is gone, even for those who are cured or NED.


#iTri4ACure